How to Win and Resolve Conflict

“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.”

- High wisdom from a very wise dude - Proverbs 18:19

TWO KINDS OF ADVERSITY AND CONFLICTWalt Disney’s first animation company did not give a true clue of his future - or maybe it did! This first company was ruined and all but destroyed by an unscrupulous distributor who took Disney’s most popular cartoon character (Oswald the Lucky Rabbit), hired (stole) all but one of Disney’s animators away from him, and in effect pirated the whole company. The distributor thought he had won big time — but later the company went bankrupt. As for good ole Walt - well you know the story - he went on to create an entertainment empire.The fact is that over time the real winners of a conflict are not actually those who seem to be the initial winners. There are two basic kinds of conflict and adversity (wow only 2 - you might be saying to yourself??). The first is conflict and adversity that you create or contribute to. The second is created by others or by circumstances beyond your control or influence.

The key for winning and resolving both kinds of adversity and conflict — is to redefine what your concept of winning is. Most often the notion we all have for winning an argument is simply to get the other person to agree with us and to get them to do what we want. This means someone is going to win, and someone is going to lose. But, what if your perspective is that the only acceptable resolution is a solution to achieve what’s best for all parties? Hard - yes, worth the effort - yes!

10 - INSIGHTS FOR ACHIEVING THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOMETo have a shot at achieving the best for all parties in any conflict requires a different mindset - not only about the fact that such a win-win outcome is really possible but also that you be willing to quickly and early on face the conflict head on - no head burying in the sand posture. Also, you must accept responsibility for your contribution to the situation (there most likely is some if you are honest).That wise dude referenced at the top of this message - Solomon wrote some profound stuff in Proverbs about how to win in conflict and overcome adversity. While I would like to take credit for inventing such a brilliant treatise on this subject, I’ll be really smart and just share what works!

1. Realize that adversity is a valuable part of life.

2. Understand potential consequences of the conflict before you decide to wage an endless battle of who is most right (Proverbs 18:19).

3. Keep as your goal — to achieve the best possible outcome for all parties involved.

4. Seek counsel before engaging in conflict (Proverbs 20:18)

5. Do not answer a fool in the manner he attacks you (Proverbs

6. Don’t reveal confidential information (Proverbs 25:9-10)

7. Never prolong an argument (Proverbs 15:1 and 26:20)

8. Give an unexpected gift (Proverbs 21:14)

9. Be quick to forgive (Proverbs 10:12)

10. Closely examine the adversities you encounter to learn from them

Conflict and adversity can be the very fire that is needed to

create or refine your true character.

Redefine winning as the way of achieving what is best for all!

DAILY PRAYERFather, You tell us in Your Word that “The wicked flee when no man pursues him, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.” Help us to change our heart, our motive, and our mindset about conflict so we may strive for the best outcome for ALL involved. Provide us with Your wisdom, guidance, and peace in the midst of such battles. And, give us the courage to approach conflict head-on. In Jesus name, Amen.Commit to not letting conflict fester until it is an infected wound, but rather face it head-on with a confidence that a solution which benefits all, can be found. It must be found, and that healing of the relationship along with a solution to the issue is possible.

Grace and peace multiplied to you,